How Misuse Creates Stigma
Many employees’ skepticism didn’t come out of nowhere. It came from what they witnessed.
- Misused 360s: Some have been victims of a 360-review used not as a developmental tool, but as a way to gather negative information that ultimately supported a termination. When leaders avoid difficult conversations, they sometimes hide behind a process. That misuse leaves a mark.
- Coaching as a “paper trail”: I’ve seen coaching assigned to poor performers not as a sincere attempt to help them grow, but as a way to “pad” documentation before letting them go. This is not coaching. This is avoidance dressed up as development.
- The ripple effect: Employees talk. They observe. They connect dots. If they see coaching used only when someone is on the brink of termination, they naturally equate: Coaching = Trouble. And once that belief takes root, it spreads quickly.
I once coached a senior VP who had been burned by a misused coaching assignment early in his career. When I mentioned conducting a 360, he was practically apoplectic. Thankfully, he eventually realized that what he experienced wasn’t coaching; it was misuse. But not everyone gets that clarity.
I’ve even turned down assignments where a manager said, “I want a 360 because I suspect others are having issues with this person.” That’s not coaching. That’s fishing. And it’s disingenuous. I always offer my candid thoughts when declining, because leaders need to hear the impact of these choices.
Sponsors (Leaders), This Starts with You
If we want to change the perception of coaching, the shift begins with sponsors, the leaders who initiate the engagement.
Here’s what you need to start doing:
- Frame coaching as a positive investment
- Coaching is not a punishment. It’s not remediation. It’s not a last resort. It’s a commitment to someone’s growth, potential, and future.
- When you introduce coaching to an employee, your framing matters. Your tone matters. Your intention matters. If you present it as a gift, a resource, and a vote of confidence, the employee will receive it that way.
- Manage poor performance, don’t outsource it
- If you’re struggling with a poor performer, manage them. That is your responsibility, supported by Human Resources. Coaching can absolutely support performance improvement, but only when the intent is genuine: to help the employee succeed and continue growing in the organization.
- Coaching is not a shortcut. It’s not a shield. It’s not a substitute for leadership courage.
- Recognize coaching as a gift
- Coaching benefits the organization and the individual. Nothing motivates me more than when a sponsor reaches out and says, “George, the positive shifts I’ve seen are amazing. They’re exceeding every expectation.”
And I’ll never forget one particular moment: a sponsor called me after a session and said, “George, I don’t know what you’re doing, but this is a different person. Their confidence, their communication, their presence, it’s all transformed. Thank you!” Moments like that remind me why this work matters. They further underscore that when coaching is framed positively and embraced fully, people rise.That happens when:
- the manager frames the engagement positively
- the employee understands the investment being made in them
- the coachee shows up ready to do the work
When those three elements align, transformation happens.
What Coaching Really Is
Coaching is a partnership. It’s a confidential space. It’s a catalyst for growth. It helps leaders see themselves more clearly, communicate more effectively, and lead with greater intention.
It’s not about fixing someone. It’s about unlocking potential.
When done well, coaching strengthens culture, builds trust, and accelerates development. It signals that the organization believes in its people enough to invest in them.
Pulling It All Together
If we want to destigmatize coaching, we must change how we talk about it, how we use it, and how we model it. Leaders set the tone. Sponsors shape the narrative. Employees take their cues from what they see, not what we say.
Coaching should never be a surprise, a threat, or a last‑ditch effort. It should be a strategic, proactive, empowering investment in human potential.
So here’s my invitation to every leader reading this:
- Choose to make coaching a symbol of belief, not a symbol of concern.
- Choose to use it to elevate, not to evaluate.
- Choose to give it as a gift, not as a warning.
When you do, you don’t just change one person’s experience; you change the culture. And that’s where real transformation begins.
